Lyrics:

(No I'm being serious)

Yo'
It's the wild wild west,
You came to the right place, my man,
Get ready, here we go.

Welcome my friends to the Old Saloon,
Everyone in town is hangin' out,
If you gotta drink, well ya drink it down,
Then we'll all go have sex with whores.

Buffalo Bill, I just rode into town,
On my horse? You betcha on my horse,
That's the thing in the old west times,
Everybody enjoys a good horse ride.

If ya cheat at cards you'll get thrown out,
Right out the saloon doors on your butt,
Come back in and buy a round of whiskey,
Guess what? All is forgiven!

Well, you're Calamity Jim and you're Calamity Jane,
And you're another guy that's probably an injun,
This whiskey is warm and it (DJ Larry) smells like piss,
Oh No! My 'stache smells like piss!

So that's the story, and I'm sticking to it,
The old wild west is no place for a Lady,
I'm the bartender but I'm also the Mayor,
So just put that (DJ Larry) in your pipe and smoke it

Tiny Tim and it's almost Christmas,
Sure is dusty here
but...