You stand on a distant planet Skyline of red plateaus Strange air and vegetation You're a winner
Welcome to the space Olympics The year 3022 Take part in a grand tradition You're name echoes in the halls of the universe
Ohhhhh, yeahhh Believe in yourself Take your game into outer space
Every single galactic athlete Needs a coded I'd badge Drug tests are mandatory You're a winner
The athlete's village is on Zargon You all get a junior suite We don't cover incidentals So keep your ass out the mini-bar
You're the best in the world Brace yourself cuz there's no gravity
You're in the mother fucking space Olympics Yeahhhhhh
Let it be known by every nation You'll only get one meal a day There was a bit of a budget snafu And food funding is insufficient
We can't really enforce a curfew As there is no light or sound Just one of the many problems With hosting a sporting event in space
Attention all athletes, There are minor scheduling adjustments: Space disc is totally canceled Space swords is totally canceled Space luge is also canceled And all other events are pending
Welcome to your space Olympics All the oxygen has run out And some one who will not be named Accidentally hit self-destruct
As you file to your escape pods I'll distract the alien hoards And as I stare death in the face I know my sins will take me to hell
You do it for the love, my love. And there ain't no woman that could take your spot My love