Lyrics:

I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus,
They have Different Religious beliefs..
They Believe in Muhammad,
And not in our Holiday..
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say..

Hey there Mr. Muslim, Merry Fuckin' Christmas
Put down that book 'The Koran'
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus' Birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim Ass
And fuckin' celebrate.

There is no holiday season
In India, I've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas Story,
They Don't know what Rudolph is about..
And that's why in December,
I'll go to India and shout..

Hey there Mr. Hinduist, Merry Fuckin' Christmas
Drink egg nog, and eat some Beef
And pass it to the Missus
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen hindu ass,
And fuckin' celebrate.

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin..
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin..
On December twenty-fifth,
All they do is eat a cake..
And that is why I'll go to Japan,
And walk around and say..

Hey there Mr. Shintoist, Merry Fuckin' Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry Fuckin' Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel 'round the world and say..
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddists
And all you atheists too..
Merry Fuckin' Christmas.. to you---.(Prolongue)
*clapping*
Thank you, Mr Hat..