Lyrics:

Spoken:

Well, they found him by the gutter,
so they called it sewer-side.

Refrain:
Away, away with rum, by gum, rum, by gum, rum, by gum.
Away, away with rum, by gum, the song of the Temperance Union.

We`re coming, we`re coming, our brave little band.
On the right side of temperance we do take our stand.
We don`t use tobacco because we do think...
That the people who use it are likely to drink.

(Refrain)

We never eat cookies because they have yeast.
And one little bite turns a man to a beast.
Can you imagine a sadder disgrace...
Then of a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face.

(Refrain)


[Background, high harmony: Away, away with rum, by gum.]

We never eat fruitcake because it has rum.
And one little bite turns a man to a bum.
[Background harmony: Oh, oh, oh, no]
Can you imagine a sorrier sight...
Than a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight.

[2 singers harmonizing, ad-libbing:
[1] He gets tight. [2] He gets tight.
Man eating fruitcake.
Fru-u-u-u-u-uit cake.
[Etc,, ending together with:]
Fruitcake gets tight. [pause]
[Broadly:] We wish you a merry fruitcake!
[Pause, with incredulous look from 3rd singer.]

(Repeat first verse)

(Refrain)