Lyrics:

WHAT A MOUTH

Jimmy Bean was a funny lookin' fellah
If he had another mouth, he'd look much sweller
But the 'race' queered him from winning a beauty show
It was like a steamboat funnel
Or a railway arch, or the Blackwall Tunnel
When you can't see Jim, when he opens his mouth you'll know
And as poor Jim goes walkin' about
You can hear the kids all 'ollerin' out

(What?)
SPOKEN: What? Ooh, um....

'What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South!
'Blimey, what a mouth he's got'!
Now when he was a baby, well, oh Gawd luv 'er!
His poor old muvver used to feed him with a shovel
What a gap! Poor chap! He's never been known to laugh (Oy!)
If he did, it's a penny to a quid
That his face would fall in half!

Mouth so large, oh Lord! oh Lumme!
He can whisper in his own ear, ain't it funny?
And to quench his thirst, now he's gotta take a drink o' mine
He got so drunk one foggy morn
He layed in the road and started to yawn
And a poor old man was delivering coals close by
And as he went to shoot the load
He saw Jim's mouth out in the road

(What?)
SPOKEN: Eh? Ooh, what? Oh, yes....

What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South!
Blimey what a mouth he's got
Now the poor old man, bein' a short sighted fellah
When he saw Jim's mouth, he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot, right into his mouth, no joke! (Oy!)
Jim, poor soul's got a tummy full of coal
And he corfs up lumps o' c**e! (Oy!)
(What?)
SPOKEN: Eh? What, eeh, ooh, ooh, cor blimey, I thought it was all
over. Oh. yes, um....

What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South!
Blimey what a mouth he's got
Now the poor old man, bein' a short sighted fellah
When he saw Jim's mouth, he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot, right into his mouth, no joke! (Oy!)
Jim, poor soul's got a tummy full of coal
And he corfs up lumps of c**e! OY!

OY! (OY!) OY!