Lyrics:

It's his lucky day, thats a given

He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime

But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine

This time I know Im gonna smash the bet

I foresee it smacked in the back of the net

Men grip slips, wipe their hands that sweat

The camera pans the away fans end

Twenty quid for blues to thrash the reds

Then cash that cash, when the ref has said

My mates out, his pads a mess

Its getting late, I've not dashed yet

The question I have to ask myself

Is can I see us not battering them?

If I cant see that, happening then

Im gonna put all my money down on one fat bet

Now I dont know the first thing about football

But my instincts tell me this is my windfall

It's his lucky day, thats a given

He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime

But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine

This time I know I woulda cashed the lot

I woulda held in my hand the whole jackpot

The games won, the ends have a swap

2-0 up they're getting mashed up

But I wont win now, the chance flopped

Cause I couldnt make it to the damn shop

Might aswell put tea in that pot

Ive got nowhere else I have to bop

The question I have to ask one

Is how I managed, not to manage the trot

Maybe I could phone in and slap it on

Put all my money on a mid-match one

Yes, I dont know the first thing about football

But my instincts tell me this is my windfall

It's his lucky day, thats a given

He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime

But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine

Shit, I'm mad glad I didnt back that match

Suppose to be an unproblematic catch

Full time the whistle blasted after

The last passer, passed the last pass

Would you believe how we fell back

Three goals lost in the last half

So glad I was stranded back at the flat

Wincing at every goal we let em have

The question I now have to ask

Is how the fuck did we get smashed that bad?

I just very, very nearly, nearly

Lost every penny of all my cash

Yes, I dont know the first thing about football

And my instincts almost led me to a pitfall

It's his lucky day, that was barmy

He didnt tick the box on the slip, and what a relief

He's not addicted, he can stop anytime

But next time he will be more lucky, next time he'll be fined

[x2]

I need to rethink the technique of my betting shit

Maybe change the parameters a little bit

Instead of betting on to win the football

I'll bet to lose the cricket