Lyrics:

The telephone, the telephone
I have an idea
Women always have ideas
Hello...
Here is Agamemnon
Here is Agamemnon
Who? Wrong connection
This is...
I am a moralist
An anti-militarist
I am against duels
I cannot stand seeing
A fly in rage
I cannot look at
A uniform or blood
That woman has seduced me
And now I am done for
Darling, where shall I
Hide you in a hurry?
Here is Agamemnon
Here is Agamemnon
I am coming
Directly from the trenches
And look forward
To a solemn luncheon
Oh, my nerves
I'm losing my mind
This damned telephone
Spoils my favorite position
And now I can start
Writing poetry again

Gordon Gano: vocal, guitar
Brian Ritchie: bass guitar, organ, vocal
Guy Hoffman: drums, percussion, vocal

Recorded and Mixed by David Vartanian at DV's Perversion Room, Milwuakee, WI

??? Gorno Music reprinted with permission