Lyrics:

if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight you've got all the makings of my future ex-wife i've got 3 bucks my credit sucks and my future don't look to bright if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight some call me a loser and a lazy no good slob i've lost my house i've got no car i cant keep a job but i've got a big heart and another part take me home, you'll understand because my genitalia looks like a pringles can if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight when i pull my pants down hey you won't believe i'm white it's been said that i'm Mr. Ed but don't worry, I won't bite if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight some call me dishonest and they say i'm just lyin' but i peed next to ol' John Holmes and he started cryin' on a sunny day i've got it made get under my wiener if you need shade if you play your cards wrong you can take me home tonight