Lyrics:

I was riding on the Mayflower when I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab I have you understand
Who came running to the deck, said, 'Boys, forget the whale
Look on over yonder, cut the engines, change the sail
Haul on the bowline,' we sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do when they are far away at sea

'I think I'll call it America,' I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath, I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab, he started writing up some deeds
He said, 'Let's set up a fort and start buying the place with beads'
Just then this cop comes down the street, crazy as a loon
He throws us all in jail for carrying harpoons

Ah, me, I busted out, don't even ask me how
I went to get some help, I walked by a Guernsey cow
Who directed me down to the Bowery slums
Where people carried signs around saying, 'Ban the bums'
I jumped right into line, saying, 'I hope that I'm not late'
When I realized I hadn't eaten for five days straight

Now, I didn't mean to be nosy, but I went into a bank
To get some bail for Arab and all the boys back in the tank
They asked me for some collateral, and I pulled down my pants
They threw me in the alley when up comes this girl from France
Who invited me to her house. I went, but she had a friend
Who knocked me out and robbed my boots and I was on the street again

Well, by this time I was fed up at trying to make a stab
At bringing back any help for my friends and Captain Arab
I decided to flip a coin, like either heads or tails
Would let me know if I should go back to ship or back to jail
So I hocked my sailor suit and I got a coin to flip
It came up tails, it rhymed with sails, so I made it back to ship

Well, I got back and took the parking ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds when this Coast Guard boat went past
They asked me my name, and I said, 'Captain Kidd'
They believed me, but they wanted to know what exactly that I did
I said for the Pope of Eruke I was employed
They let me go right away, they were very paranoid