Lyrics:

My life is brilliant
What? Was I too early?
Sorry. You wanna start over?
Keep Going? Ok. Now? Now?

My life is brilliant
Your life's a joke
You're just pathetic
You're always broke
Your homemade Star Trek Uniform
Really ain't impressin me
You're sufferin from delusions of adequacy

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful it's true
Never had a date that you couldn't inflate
And you smell repulsive, too
What a bummer being you

Well you just can't dance
And forget romance

Everybody you know still calls you 'Farty Pants'
But you always have a job
Well I mean
As long as you still can work that Slurpee machine

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful it's true
You're half undressed
Eating chips off your chest
While you're playin Halo 2
No ones classier than you

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Loser!

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful it's true
You're dog would much rather play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom and you're 42
Guess you'll never grow a clue
Well it just sucks to be you