Lyrics:

You gotta memorize all the lines, and
Brother Thespian, you'll be fine
You gotta define your breath in beats
With a graduation pen, use mine

Stage left, enter Maggie, looking hurried
She has a parcel in her arms
Are you the leopard, or a virgin
Or the child in a grown man's beard
Worn out of place and hanging off his face
By the time the audience cheered?

And you were feeling pretty cocky
On the day you became an actor
I know the thing I shouldn't say
So I'll leave it at this:
I hope you get what you're after
And if when you're out you see the hundredth rose
Fall from the sky
Brother, stick that thing in the ground and
Say a heartfelt prayer for your safe arrival

I'd like to think that the actors never banded
I'd like to throw this trumpet down and go empty handed
The part of the virgin has been taken
So let me throw this trumpet down and go empty handed
If you're the virgin
Then I'm the stand-in

I'd like to think the actors never banded
I'd like to throw this trumpet down and go empty handed
Go 'ah-ah, ah-ah, ah'