Lyrics:

And now, broadcast live in front of a live studio audience
For the first time from the certified up to code WYDT Studio
It's The Corny Collins Miss Hairspray Spectacular

He's Corny
Brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray

What gives a girl
Power and punch?
Is it charm, is it poise?
No, it's hairspray

What gets a gal
Asked out to lunch
Is it brains, is it dough?
No, it's hairspray

If you take a ride
With no can at your side
Then your flip will be gone
With the wind

But if you spray it and lock it
You can take off in a rocket
And in outer space
Each hair will be in place

Why take a chance
When you get up and dance?
If you twist, I insist
You use hairspray

And tell your mother
Her head she should smother
With Ultra Clutch faithfully

So if you're a redhead, a blond or brunette
Just take my advice and you might just get
The only thing better than hairspray that's me

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya
Doo-dle-e-ya do wah

Forget the milkman
The only thing better than hairspray
Hairspray, wow
That's me

What makes a man
Reach out and touch?
Ultra Clutch

So if you're a redhead, a blond or brunette, ooh
Just take my advice and you might just get
You might just
The only thing better than hairspray that's me

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya
Doo-dle-e-ya do wah

He's Corny Collins
The only thing better than hairspray
Hairspray wow
That's me

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah, do wah

Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya-do do wah