Lyrics:

[All parts: Shock G]

[Intro]

[Chorus]
I used to be a sperm
Was it fun?
No, it was hurry up run
[Repeat 4x]

[Verse 1]
Many years ago I was a sperm in a ball
In a really great nation a hundred million strong
And everybody's waiting for the big day
When they open up the main gate and let us go play
It only happens once in a lifetime
A chance to go to heaven
And in ball land, heaven means the egg
Then out of a hundred million of us
Only one gets to dip in
Can you imagine the competition?
An all-out bloody war to the finish line
My man Al, he was swimming in a squiggly line
I said, hey cap, why you zig-zagging like that?
He said, I was raised Baptist, and this is what we practice
I'm trying to go to heaven
Look at page seventy-seven
It says a zig-zag line is divine
I'm like, a'ight, chill, whatever, it's clever
Me, I got a different plan
I'm swimming in a straight line, fast as I can
Peace!
After that, I seen my girl Reese, fine as fuck
But she was swimming in a circle like she's stuck
I'm like, Reese, what up with it, why you not running?
She said, I'm a Christian and running is a sin
I said, what about the egg, baby, what about survival?
She said, you better slow it down, Greg, have you read the Bible?
Yeah, and the Koran, and The Color Purple
But I strongly suggest you swim straight, not in a circle
She said I'm a heathen, and I'm having too much fun
But I left her standing there 'cause I gotta keep running!

[Chorus]
I used to be a sperm
Was it fun?
No, it was hurry up run

[Verse 2]
Then I run into this brother named Ben
Said suicide and holy war is how you get in
Reminded me of Al a little bit except without the perm
I got away from Ben, he was killing other sperms
Germs! I noticed on my left, but I kept racing
They had a flag said Gonorrhea Nation
Expressions on they face was ugly, plus they smelled bad
I was glad when I seen my man Brad
I'm like, Brad, what up with it, why you not running?
I just become a Mormon, won't be doing any running anymore
Oh no, another bro bites the dust
He said, have you met Jesus yet?
I said, I gotta go, I'm in a rush!
You won't find the egg like that
Originally it was a curse if you're black
Oooh!
I should have slapped that cap or dropped that cap
But I ain't got time to stop like that
How could he be so lost like that?
Back to the race
I get to the main gate first but I pause
'Cause I heard about them nations that were lost
To a titty or an ass fuck
Imagine it
Joke was on them
They were swimming around in shit
Another hundred million of us was dead when they found them
Died from the spermicide up inside a condom
Cats is on my heels
I gotta think fast
I guess it looks safe
Left the shaft of my world
Went out in pink space
And there it was, as beautiful as all God
The mighty egg
Woo!
Glad it wasn't no blow job

[Chorus]
I used to be a sperm
Was it fun?
No, it was hurry up run