Lyrics:

Now I'm getting very fond of my gas mask I declare
It hardly ever leaves my sight
I sling it on my back and I take it everywhere
It even comes to bed at night
It's been a real good pal to me I must confess
And helped me out of many a mess

My sister had a lot of socks to mend
So she gave me a fat bouncing baby to tend
And when I felt it leaking at one end
Well I did what I could with my gas mask

I bought a farm because I like fresh air
At milking time I tried to do my share
And when I found the bucket wasn't there
Well I did what I could with my gas mask

The lady living next door, Mrs. 'icks
She heard the sirens blow one morn at ten to six
She dashed outside in nothing but her nicks
But she knew what to do with her gas mask

By train I went for a very tiring ride
There wasn't any corridor outside
And when I felt the turning of the tide
Well I did what I could with My gas mask

To see old Echstien's (sp?) Adam in the nude
I once thought I'd go with my Aunt Ermintrude
And when she sniffed and said 'How very rude
Still, he knows what to do with his gas mask

For years I courted Annabella Price
And always found her just as cold as ice
Until one night the lass forgot her Ma's advice
And I did what I could with my gas mask