Lyrics:

No matter where I go, London, Paris, Mexico
Anywhere on Earth, they know my place of birth
I met a girl from London when she sat on Blackpool Pier
She said she could tell, I'm a Lad from Lancashire
She said, 'Are you a nudist?' So I blushed and said, 'No fear'
I'm covered up like a Lad from Lancashire

North or South, when I open my mouth, they know that I'm not Dutch
They can tell I come from Lancashire, but they can't tell me much
I whispered, 'I'll be nudist if you'll be the same my dear'
She said, 'No fear, with a Lad from Lancashire
A widow nice and young and gay said, 'Come to tea my dear
I've something nice for a Lad from Lancashire'
We sat down on the sofa and I felt her creeping near
I said, 'Hee Hee! take care, I'm a Lad from Lancashire'

North and South, when I open my mouth, they know that I'm not Dutch
They can tell I come from Lancashire, but they can't tell me much
The widow started kissing me and tickling my ear
I tickled her, like a Lad from Lancashire
I went with Jane down Lovers Lane, she whispered in her ear
'Now do your best for a Lad from Lancashire'
She said to me when on my knee, 'You can't do that there ere'
I said, 'Hey Hey! I can, I'm the Lad from Lancashire'

North and South, when I open my mouth, they know that I'm not Dutch
They can tell I come from Lancashire, but they can't tell me much
That night when Jane got home again her Ma said, 'You look queer
I'll bet thas' been with that Lad from Lancashire