Lyrics:

I've been to Spain
But never again
I couldn't go there twice
'Cause my name's John Willie
But they said it sounded silly
And they wouldn't call me that at any price
They soon made me change my name
And a real proper Spaniard I became!

Don Pedro
The great bullfighting hero
The Lancashire Toreador
They cheer me
And when the bull gets near me
To show how far a brave man can go
With the bull I danced the tango
Then, when I hung on his tail my pants he tried to gore
I went dashin' round the ring with him givin' chase
Three times he tossed me in the air, I looked a disgrace
They shouted, 'Look at all that skin and bone round the place
It's The Lancashire Toreador!'

Don Pedro
The great bullfightin' hero
The Lancashire Toreador
I met a
Charmin' senoretta
She said, 'To love you I can never!'
Then kissed me goodbye for ever
That night, as she retired, she locked her bedroom door
She started to undress and timidly she looked round
Said, 'Thank God I am rid of him, for he's homeward bound!'
But when she pulled the bedclothes down now guess what she found
Why, The Lancashire Toreador!

Don Pedro
The great bullfighting hero
The Lancashire Toreador
I scare 'em
No mercy ever spare 'em
In the dead of night I ramble
Spanish castle walls I scramble
I saw a shadow above a girl in her boudoir
I climbed up her balcony, it started to sway
She shouted, 'Murder! There's a bandit, spare my life pray!'
But when my castanets I rattled she shouted, 'Hooray!
It's The Lancashire Toreador!'