Lyrics:

(B Bob D Doug C Chorus)

b Ok, Good Day. This Is Our Christmas Part Of The Album. You Can Play This At Your Christmas Parties, Or To Yourself On Christmas Eve, If There's Nothin' Else To Do.
d Good Day, Eh In Case You Thought, Like, I Wasn't On This Part.
b Oh, I Guarantee Ya You'd Be On. Ok, So Good Day. This Is The Christmas Part, And We're Gonna Tell Ya What To Get..um...your True Love For Christmas.
d Look Out The Window!
b Where (Chuckle) What Are Ya Doin'!
d Snow, Hosehead!
b Well, Oh, It's The Great White North, And It's Snowing 'cause It's Christmastime. Hey, Hoser!
d What
b Here's A Quiz. (Chuckle) Quiz For Doug...
d Ok, I Have My 'thinking Toque' On.
b Yeah, Right. What Are The 'twelve Days Of Christmas' 'cause, Figure It Out, Right Christmas Is When
d Um, The Twenty-Fifth...
b Right. And, What's The Twenty-Fourth...christmas Eve, Right So..
d That's Two
b That's Two. And, Then What's After That (Pause) Boxing Day
d Wrestling Day
b Wrestl.. Get Out!
d Boxing Day, Yeah, Yeah.
b That's Three. Then, What's After That Nothin'!
d New Year's!
b Four And What's...
d New Year's Eve
b That's Five. Where Do Ya Get Twelve
d Uh, There's Two Saturdays And Sundays In There; That's Four. So, That's Nine. And Three Other Days Which, I Believe, Are The 'mystery' Days.

(Music Starts)

b Ok, This Our Christmas Song, Just In Case You Don't Know What To Get Someone For Christmas.
d There's Lots Of Ideas In Here, So Listen And Don't Get Stuck!

(Organ Starts)

d By The Way, That's Me On The Organ.
b Oh, Geez.
d You Start...
b Ok...

on The First Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
a Beer.

d On The Second Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
two Turtle-Necks
b And A Beer.

on The Third Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
three French Toast
d Two Turtle-Necks
b And A Beer.
d There Should Be More There, Eh
b Where Oh, Go!

d Fourth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
four Pounds Of Back-Bacon
b Three French Toast
d Two Turtle-Necks
b And A Beer.
d ...in A Tree. See, You Need More.

b Oh... Fifth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
five Golden Toques,
d Four Pound Of Back-Bacon
b Three French Toast
d Two Turtle Necks
b And A Beer... Where
d (With Bob) In A Tree.

b Ok, On The Sixth...oo, Go!
d ..christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
c Six...
d Six Packs Of Tuborg
b C Five Golden Toques
c Four...
d Four Pounds Of Back-Bacon
c Three...
b Three French Toast
c Two...
d Two Turtle-Necks
c And A Beeeeeeeeer...
b And A Beer (With Doug) In A Tree. Ok.

b On The Seventh Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me,
seven Pack Of Smokes,
c Nice Gift!
d Nice Gift. Oh...six Packs Of Tuborg
b C Five Golden Toques.
c Four...
d Four Pounds Of Back-Bacon
c Three...
b Three French Toast
c Two...
d Two Turtle-Necks
c And A Beeeeeeeeer...
b And A Beer (With Doug) In A Tree. Keep Forgetting.
d Whew! This Should Just Be The 'two Days Of Christmas'; It's Too Hard For Us! Go, Hoser.

b D On The Eighth Day Of Christmas, May True Love Gave To Me,
d Eight Comic Books
(Chorus Repeats Right Behind Them, Though One Behind)
b D Seven Packs Of Smokes
six Pack Of Tuborg
b Five...
c (Catches Up) Five Golden Toques
four Pounds Of Back-Bacon
three French Toast
two Turtle-Necks
all And A Beer...
b D On My Tree.
b Yeah, That Beer Is Empty. Ok, Day, Um...
c Twelve!
b Twelve!
d Good Day, And Welcome To Day Twelve..
(Chorus Starts Up And Bob And Doug Join In)
all Five Golden Toques
four Pounds Of Back-Bacon,
three French Toast
two Turtle-Necks
and A Beer In A Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
d Where'd You Learn To Do That
b Um, Albums.
d So, Like, That's Our Song. Merry Christmas...
b Merry Christmas!
d And Good Day!
b Good Day! Ha-Happy New Year, Too.
d Shhh!
b Ok, You Know What You Left Out
d What
b Donuts!
d Oh, No!
b I Told You To Get Donuts. Either On The Ninth Day, Or The Tenth Day Or The Eleventh Day, But I Want Donuts!
d Ok, The Song's Over! Merry Christmas, Everybody!
b ...or, On The Twelfth Day, You Could've Got Me A Dozen Donuts...
d So,..go Out To The Stores And Get Some Presents!
b You Could've Gone Down, To, Like, The Good Donut Shops Where You Buy A Dozen, You Get Another One Free, And Then It'd Be Thirteen For The 'thirteen Days Of Christmas'!
d Next Christmas, You Can Get Me A Chain-Saw!
b Take Off!

(As Music Fades)

d Boy, That Song Was A Beauty. It...it Moved Me.
b Yeah, I Think It Ranks Up There With 'stairway To Heaven'.
d What