Lyrics:

I Woke Up This Morning With A Bad Hangover And My Penis Was Missing Again. This Happens All Hte Time; It's Detachable. This Comes In Handy A Lot Of The Time; I Can Leave It Home When I Thnk It's Gonna Get Me In Trouble, Or I Can Rent It Out When I Don't Need It. But Now And Then I Go To A Party, Get Drunk, And The Next Morning, I Can't, For The Life Of Me, Remember What I Did With It. First I Looked Around My Apartment, And I Couldn't Find It, So I Called Up The Place Hwere The Party Was, They Hadn't Seen It Either. I Asked Them To Check The Medicine Cabinet , 'ccause For Some Reason, I Leave It There Sometimes, But No This Time.
so I Told Them If It Pops Up To Let Me Know. I Called A Few People Who Were At The Party, But They Were No Help Either.
i Was Starting To Get Desperate I Really Don't Like Being Without My Penis For Too Long. It Makes Me Feel Like Less Of A Man, And I Really Hate Having To Sit Down Every Time I Take A Leak.

after A Few Hours Of Searching The House, And Calling Everyone I Could Think Of, I Was Starting To Get Very Depressed, So I Went To The Kiev And Ate Breakfast. Then As I Walked Down Second Avenue, Toward St Mark's Place, Where All Those People Sell Used Books And Other Junk On The Street, I Saw My Penis Lying On A Blanket Next To A Broken Toaster Oven - Some Guy Was Selling It! I Had To But It Off Him. He Wanted 22 Bucks, But I Talked Him Down To 17. I Took It Home, Washed It Off, And Put It Back On. I Was Happy Again Complete. People Sometimes Tell Me I Should Get It Permanently Attached, But I Don't Know. Even Though Sometimes It's A Pain In The Ass, I Like Having A Detachable Penis.