Lyrics:

1st verse
Well, when you're down on your luck,
and you ain't got a buck,
in London you're a goner.
Even London Bridge has fallen down,
and moved to Arizona,
now I know why.
And I'll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor
is drier than than the Texas sand.
You can put up your dukes, and you can bet your boots
that I'm leavin' just as fast as I can.

Chorus
I wanna go home with the arma [Am] dillo
Good country music from Ama rillo and Abi lene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever [G]
seen.

2nd Verse
Well, it's cold over here, and I swear
I wish they'd turn the heat on.
And where in the world is that English girl
I promised I would meet on the third floor.
And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I've got
is a smoke and a cheap guitar.
My mind keeps roamin', my heart keeps longin'
to be home in a Texas bar.

Chorus

3rd Verse
Well, I decided that I'd get my cowboy hat
and go down to Marble Art Station.
'Cause when a Texan fancies, he'll take his chances.
Chances will be taken, that's for sure.
And them Limey eyes, they were eyein' the prize
that some people call manly footwear.
And they said you're from down South,
and when you open your mouth,
you always seem to put your foot there.

Repeat chorus 'til the cows come home.