Lyrics:

I haven't eaten in like 40 minutes, that's weird for me
American's, we love to eat
You know
When we're not eating, we're chewing gum
We're litteraly practicing eating
Yeah, I've got a big meal coming up
Training for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving, that is all about overeating
I mean one of the main dishes is actually called stuffing
Stuffing?
What names have they turned down?
Cram it in?
Eat 'till you can't breath?
Am I the only one who doesn't feel comfertable that stuffing is cooked inside a dead animal?
Shove a loaf of bread up there, ump, delicious!
Kind of a humiliating way to go out for the turkey
You're going to kill me?
Oh it's going to get a lot worse
You do not want to know
My problem is that I love all of the food that's bad for you, like bacon
We know you like bacon
Fried chicken, have you ever put a peice of fried chicken on a napkin, and you come back and the napkin has turned into liquid
Fried chicken can't be good for you, really
I mean one of the serving sizes is bucket
Bucket?
Isin't that how we feed farm animals?
Yeah, I'll have a bucket of fried chicken, a silo of Pepsi, and a trough of pig slop
Make the pig slop diet
Speaking of pig slop, have you tried one of those KFC bowls?
It's like KFC as a corperation decided \'
You know all our crap just tastes the same, why don't we just throw it in a bowl?\' And I'll tell you, it's delicious
There's a layer of mashed potatoes, a layer of corn, a layer of cigarette butts, a couple apple cores
It's like Charlotte's Web
Where's Templeton?
Popeyes is my favorite fried chicken
I love Popeyes
I love that name
Oh I get it, Popeye was a sailor and your food goes through me like a torpedo, that makes sense
Popeye ate spinach and now i have Dysentery
Popeye had muscles and I can't stand up
Maybe they aren't talking about the cartoon character Popeye, maybe they're talking about what happens to your eyes after you eat the food
I've got to go to the bathroom
I eat the fast food, I do
It's amazing how your attitude on fast food changes
When you're a kid, it's your favorite place
As an adult you look at fast food like someone you used to date
I can't beleive I ever went there
Then the next night...
Well it's late, and I'm drunk so
We're all so embarassed to eat fast food
Do you ever go in and everybody's seating by themsleves, hunched over, wearing a ski mask
Don't tell my wife I'm here!
They know we're embarrased to eat fast food, that's why they invented the drive thru
Look, no one has to see you, just drive around the back and we'll hand it out the window
That drive thru is pretty convenient, right?
Except for that final stretch to get your food
Like, can you bring your building closer to my car?
Do I have to do everything?
What a pain in the ass!
Why is he reaching out the passenger's side of the car?
Those fast food places are just so fast and easy that they've ruined me for regular restauraunts
Whenever I'm at a regular resteraunt I'm always like \'let's see I will order the hamburger, where is it?\' Sir how would you like your hamburger done?
Right now, where is it?
And can you wrap it in paper so I feel like I'm opening a present?
Or maybe put it in a styrofoam clam shell and present it like an engagement ring? *gasps* I do
Too bad all of the food in fast food places is so bad for you
I love how there's the option of a milkshake
Well, I shouldn't but I'm in a hurry so I'll get a burger, and fries, and to drink I'll have the large cup of meled ice cream
Do you have an EKG machine back there?
Most restauraunts try to set a mood
You go in there and you're like \'
I feel like I'm in a Tuscan Villa
Fast food places are brightly lit, smell like disinfectant, furnatures bolted down
Where am I a mental institution?
We've got to get out of here!
I love the fast food