Lyrics:

spoken:
Thank you very much! Now we are very, uh, patriotic Canadians and,
Uh, we'd like to take this moment to um, to do our national anthem that we wrote.

sung:
When I look around me,
I can't believe what I see.
It seems as if this country
Has lost its will to live!
The economy is lousy,
We barely have an army,
But we can still stand proudly,
'Cause Canada's really big!

We're the second largest country
On this planet Earth.
And if Russia
Keeps on shrinking,
Then soon we'll be first
(As long as we keep Quebec).

The USA has tanks,
And Switzerland has banks,
They can keep them, thanks,
They just don't amount.
'Cause when you get down to it
You find out what the truth is:
It isn't what you do with it,
It's the size that counts!

Most people
Will tell you
That France is pretty large.
But you can put
Fourteen Frances
Into this land of ours.
(It'd take a lotta work. It'd take a whole lotta work.)

We're larger than Malaysia,
Almost as big as Asia.
We're bigger than Australia,
And it's a continent.
So big we seldom bother
To go see one another,
But we often go to other
Countries for vacation.

Our mountains
Are very pointy.
Our prairies are not.
The rest is
Kinda bumpy.
But, man, do we have a lot!
(We got a lot of land. We got a whole lot of land.)

So stand up and be proud,
And sing out very loud.
We stand out from the crowd 'cause
Canada's really big!