Lyrics:

Alright, dig it[ VERSE 1 ]Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some actionBut like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfactionThe girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with meMy threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c?The girls is all jockin at the other end of the barHavin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the starSo I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantinaI asked the guy, Why you so fly? he said, Funky Cold MedinaFunky Cold Medina[ VERSE 2 ]This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicksPut a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quickIt's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiacA couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lapSo I gave some to my dog when he began to begThen he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my legHe used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meanerBut now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold MedinaYou know what I'm sayin?I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my doorI got Spuds McKenzieAlex from Stroh'sThey won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal[ VERSE 3 ]I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is SheenaI thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold MedinaShe said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get itThen a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with itSo I took her to my crib, and everything went well as plannedBut when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a manSo I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wienerYou must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold MedinaYou know, ain't no plans with a manThis is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladiesYa know?Break it down[ VERSE 4 ]Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affectionI took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_The audience voted, and you know they picked a winnerI took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinnerShe had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettinInstead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddinI said, Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein yaThat's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold MedinaYa know what I'm sayinThat Medina's a monster, y'allFunky Cold Medina