Lyrics:

Let them call up the other groups
We think it's a great idea

Send the Searchers to Algiers
For another hundred years
Let's wish them luck in their new career

We send them away
To earn their pay
What a place it was
And they knew they had to go away
And get down on their knees to earn their pay
And they queued all day
Oh yes, we will, Sir
We'll clean those hutments and tin ware
Yes Sir

There's a little town in Cyprus
There's hanging out the streamers
To welcome the arrival of Freddie and the Dreamers

Just in the nick
I could never be (I could never be)
A corporal in the cavalry
Please don't pick on me (Please don't pick on me)
I am only five foot three
Now I don't like the army life
The air force don't like me
Now I can't join the navy
'Cause I get sick at sea

Freddie has gone away
Hip, hip, hooray
Next in line we were dreaming maybe
The Rolling Stones would be fit for the navy

We don't want to join the Royal Navy
We don't want to go to Hong Kong
We won't have our hair cut baby
We wanna keep it long
We wanna keep it long
We wanna keep it long
We wanna keep it long
We wanna keep it long

The Searchers are still searching
Freddie is still dreaming
But the Stones go rolling along
Just to even up the store
We can soon dig up some more
The Bachelors are looking very strong

Wait for me, my Diane
Oh, I only have two years to go (Years to go)
Waiting for me, my Diane (My Diane)
Now I only have two straps to show
Wait for me, my Diane (My Diane, my Diane)

We have heard from secret sources
There's a group, ideal for the forces
If the call up, they revive
This could be heard from the Dave Clark Five

All the distance, boots and whiskers
We've been marching day and night
All the distance, boots and whiskers
We can't tell a left foot for my right
All the distance, boots and whiskers
We've been sent to far off land
All the distance, boots and whiskers
We went home doing one night stands

There's just one group that we'd left out
They're four talented people
When they're on stage they twist and shout
Who is it?

Well I got this rifle now (Rifle now)
I had to shake it about (Shake it about)

'Cause I had a bullet stuck (Bullet stuck)
Up the sprout (Up the sprout)
Bang
Oooh
Aaah

There's one small thing we don't want them to do
That's make them join the forces too
Yeah