Lyrics:

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didnt see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
I jumped high up into the air,
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty red-back spider
Wasnt nowhere to be found.

I rushed in to the missus,
Told her just where Id been bit,
She grabbed the cut throat razor blade,
And I nearly took a fit.
I said, Just forget whats on your mind,
And call a doctor please,
Cause Ive got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease.

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didnt see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
And now Im here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider

On the toilet seat last night.

I cant lay down, I cant sit up,
And I dont know what to do,
And all the nurses think its funny,
But thats not my point of view.
I tell you its embarrassing,
And thats to say the least
That Im to sick to eat a bite,
While that spider had a feast!

And when I get back home again,
I tell you what Ill do,
Ill make that red-back suffer
For the pain Im going through.
Ive had so many needles
That Im looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasnt very long to live!

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didnt see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
And now Im here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.